Moonlight Sucks, and Not in a Good Way
I don’t have high expectations for this show. I mean, it’s a freaking vampire detective show! Tanya Huff makes fun of vampire detective shows! And does it very well, by the way, so you should totally go read her books. Plus, her vampire is bi, which is so much cooler than when they’re not. Anyway, back to Moonlight.
I’m blogging this while I’m watching it, because it started so badly that I wanted to write about it before I forget.
Spoilers below.
First, it starts with a dream. And then with him waking up. Puhlease. You do that in written fiction and you’re not getting published. (Or you shouldn’t be published.) It was a very lame, obvious attempt to get some background information about the character down. Narrated by him. Which, if you want a mysterious cool vampire dude, you don’t make him the narrator. Even if it is a staple of detective stories.
Second, sexist! Vampire dude ‘doesn’t hunt women or children or innocents’. Because it’s perfectly all right if there’s an evil woman running around.
He injects blood into his arm, rather than drink it. Denial, much?
Then, reporter chick takes photos of a crime scene with a PDA or a phone or something. It might’ve been an iPhone, I dunno. In any case, it’s not a camera you should be using if you want to actually publish the photo.
Used the word ‘coed’ which I don’t like as a noun.
He doesn’t seem particularly bothered by sunlight. Wanders around during the day and just sticks to the shade with some sunglasses on. Garlic doesn’t affect him, crosses don’t affect him, holy water doesn’t affect him, a stake through the heart wouldn’t bother him. What’s left to make him a vampire, you might ask. So do I. He has fangs and needs blood. And has awesome super senses and strength and speed. So, basically, he’s just a superhero. And not even a cool dark one.
Vampires are cool and all, but they have a LOT of weaknesses. This show has removed pretty much all of them. Like Superman who finds it’s okay to hang around kryptonite, just as long as he doesn’t like.. kiss it or something.
Of course the vampire is a dark-haired white guy. The reporter is a blond-haired white chick. Shokku.
And chick is a moron. If a guy leads you somewhere to meet the big, evil dude, then you don’t go TRUSTING THE GUY when you run away from the big, evil dude.
Apparently he won’t hunt women, but it’s okay to kill them if they’re vampires. Except that it’s obvious his ‘ex’ or sire or whatever isn’t actually dead.
Finally, what’s up with the title Moonlight? Moons are for werewolves.
Summary: Moonlight is teh lame.
jun Said,
September 29, 2007 @ 6:16 pm
I finished watching the rest of my tape of other new shows, and /all/ of them are better than Moonlight, even those with clunky exposition problems of their own.