Jellyn’s Collection of Curiosities

There’s a 1 in 4 chance any particular wormhole will lead to the Alpha Quadrant? Does that mean there’s only 4 quadrants in the galaxy? And wormholes only travel within the galaxy and never outside it? That also assumes an even distribution of wormhole exit points.

Though, really, even if they landed in the Delta Quadrant, it might put them closer to home if they were near the DS9 wormhole.

Kes must be ticked at you, Captain, she only had one sip of that spinach juice with a touch of pear that you used your replicator ration for.

Night-time chat with the Romulan while wearing a sexy nightgown.

Doc says he should perform a full neural scan on Kes sometime. You’d think he would’ve done that when he was scanning her brain when she said she was having visions. But.. oh wait, maybe that never happened in the end. Okay, I’ll give them a pass on that one. :)

Very trusting Romulan. That could’ve been a bomb they’re beaming over, or, well, anything.

Very stupid Romulan. Oh yea, beam me over, I’m sure it’ll work perfectly. And well, much better to risk myself on a shaky transporter beam than to break protocol and let a bunch of Starfleet people on my ship. Better to die than be court-martialled?

What? What?! Now you _can’t_ travel in time because you’re worried about polluting the timeline? Paradoxes and whatnot were no problem a couple episodes back.

Romulan, dude, your daughter is 7 months. In 20 years, you won’t be an old man. You still have black hair. You’ll be like.. 50, 60? Even if you were 80, that wouldn’t be an old man by Romulan standards!

Grrr. Stupid livejournal with its stupid ads that crashed Opera. Fortunately WordPress saved what I was doing.

So this episode was a bit different. It was all about trying to get home, trying to get a message home. No weird alien, or mystery to solve. But, of course, in the end, nothing changed.

It’s kind of a shame they wasted it so early on. It would’ve been much more poignant and desperate if they’d been in the Delta Quadrant for longer. Much more heart-breaking in the end.

‘In the Delta Quadrant, we are virtually the entire family of man.’

First of all, virtually? More humans running around we don’t know about? (Well, yes, but she doesn’t know that yet.)

Second of all, ‘man’ is still sexist!

Third of all, hello? Tuvok? Torres? The rest of your non-human crew? They aren’t deserving of your attention? They’re not part of the Voyager family?

If Neelix is such a bad cook, then why not recruit someone else for the job? Maybe one of those spare security people you’ve got running around.

I don’t think _not_ using her replicator ration sets such a stellar example. The crew has rations for a reason. To let them choose to have a taste of home, a little comfort food or a treat if and when they want it. It sets a better example _to_ use the ration, and to use it on something frivolous like coffee. It lets the crew know it’s okay to relax a little bit.

So, wait, what? The energy problems are because of a lack of antimatter? Then why the hunt for dilithium in the last episode?

Um, Tuvok.. if Kim is a senior officer, then who the heck are the junior officers?! He’s an ensign and it’s his first mission! Is it more related to his position than his rank? Not that I’m quite clear what his position is. Ops?

Are there midshipmen on board? Because I’ve never heard of such in Starfleet. And non-coms wouldn’t be officers of any sort, right?

Red alert darkens the bridge quite alot. You’d think you’d want the crew to be able to see what they’re doing and not trip over things.

I was wondering if I’d seen Paris in anything, but it looks like he’s moved on to directing and producing.

I understand the explanation that the holodeck runs on a different type of energy grid, thingee. But _where_ is it getting its power from? If not the antimatter? I mean, there are lots of options, but I’d like to know. And to know why those sources aren’t useful for running the replicators and things.

Paris’s holodeck program is boring.

Such ego on Dr. Zimmerman and Dr. Soong. Making creatures in their own image. I suppose it beats making a big-breasted, small-waisted woman.

Hey, they degaussed the hull! I wonder if it did the shimmery, buzzy thing that monitors do. Did.

Because psychoactive doohickeys are better than psychoactive drugs.

Her animal guide is a lizard. Doesn’t she later turn into one? Or am I confusing that episode with the de-evolving (sic) Troi?

How much ‘preparing’ does Neelix’s ship need to be launched? Just fire it up and open the bay doors. It’s not like it was packed away in shipping containers. Or needed a good dusting. Right?

Now they need deuterium for energy? Is that the matter they use?

Neelix, you just offered pate to a Vulcan.

There’s a difference between pool and billiards?

Well, I liked that one better than some of the others. It was more crew-focussed and more relaxed overall.

This episode started 14 minutes late. Stupid Spike. :P

You mean Neelix actually knows something and is doing something? Though how he got a lot of vegetables out of hydroponics, I don’t know. Has Kes had long enough to grow any? Any they might have been growing before would’ve been for research purposes, not food, right?

And why would Janeway be using her private dining hall? I mean, by herself. Why would she decide to go eat her ration pack in there? And if she makes a regular habit of that, why didn’t she notice everything Neelix was up to getting the place ready?

Okay, this makes no sense. Neelix lost his lungs. So what? McCoy can give a woman a pill and she has a kidney a few minutes later. Holographic Doc says he can’t give Neelix artificial lungs, because they’re attached to his spinal column at too many places. But he can put his original lungs back just fine? Um.. wouldn’t you still have the same problem?

Can’t you grow some new lungs? Replicate some new lungs?

Ha. Holographic lungs. At least that’s novel. But I don’t understand the explanation why those would work, but replicated or artificial ones wouldn’t.

The holographic Doc has as good a bedside manner as Dr. House.

Voyager has plenty of security, but no medical personnel. Either the security types were better at keeping themselves alive, or Starfleet’s priorities are messed up. And isn’t anyone on security trained as an EMT? Paris is really the best they’ve got?

And now my recording crapped out. So I have to find it on YouTube or somewhere.

So, now Kes and Neelix both have one lung. I’m sure that won’t give them any problem in the future.

Ah, yes, the Delaney sisters…

Ship shaking. Kes wakes up and holds her head. No doubt she senses something, something sad.

Neelix isn’t familiar with the people in the system. You’d think his knowledge of the area would be greater where they picked him up.

Ms. Torres indeed. Just because you don’t want to be called ‘sir’, maybe your crew would still like to be Misters.

‘Four to beam up’, well, you know _that’s_ not going to work.

I guess the translators in the combadges work just as well as the TARDIS now. These guys don’t even realize they’re being talked to in Federation Standard.

Hey, widen a subspace fracture. Why not use that dekyon beam again? Worked well the first time.

The doctor doesn’t know about the Maquis on board? That makes no sense. He’s treated any number of people in the last two episodes. Even if Torres wasn’t technically part of the crew when he mysteriously off-camera cured her and Kim’s incurable disease thingee.

Just like Starfleet, get yourselves involved a riot.

I’m not sure why they would’ve thought the combadges were destroyed in the explosion. I thought the polaric thingee only destroyed organic material.

When did Paris tell the kid that he ate children?

‘Do you honestly expect us to believe all this?’ — I’m betting that gets used again in later eps.

Paris in this ep and the one before tried to explain how something couldn’t possibly happen, it being a paradox and all, and Janeway’s like.. well, that’s understandable you don’t understand. But paradoxes are so passe’. Paris needs to read up on his temporal physics apparently.

The clothes of this planet’s people are starting to grow on me. Paris in a little skirt thingee, carrying a purse. And they’ve got some sort of corset thing built into them too.

And, boom. The episode might never have happened. As in the end, it only affected Kes.

We start the episode with character development and ‘getting on with the business of merging these crews’, which is really cool. A contrast to ‘what big giant troublesome thing has just appeared off the port bow?’ type of opening.

So convenient that the holodeck runs on a different power system.

Paris stands up so Kes can have a seat? Gah.

An our cable went out at this point. Grr. Because nobody wants to watch television this late at night.

So we go from a meeting to the bridge and the whole ship being rocked by something.

Neelix helpfully infodumps under the guise of telling Kes what a singularity is.

Combined with the fact that this is a singularity, the name of the episode is Parallax, and probably a vague memory of when I watched this the first time, I believe the unknown, mysterious ship on the other side is also the Voyager.

And now the cable goes out while Kes is in sickbay chatting with the doctor.

The incredibly shrinking doctor can only appear on the viewscreens, not in person. Too much strain on the special effects.

Oh, look, it’s the Voyager!

Janeway getting her geek on with Torres. Carey, you never stood a chance.

I just Googled ‘dekyon beam’. Doesn’t look like it ever showed up before or since.

Torres apologizes for losing her temper in Janeway’s ready room, which I totally don’t remember. And I don’t think it was one of the cable outages.

I’m unclear why the doctor’s still short even though they’ve left the vicinity of the singularity. But, hey, they did show him in person once!

I just went back to see if she blew up in the ready room. I guess she did get a little backtalky. Just, compared to hitting Carey, a few cross words to the Captain didn’t seem like much to me. So I didn’t even notice.

Anyway, ep over. Should I be rating these things?

Hey, look, a widget! In my sidebar! Admire the shiny.

I’ve been writing reviews on Goodreads as I finish books and then posting them to facebook. K is lazy and has also BLOCKED Goodreads updates on Facebook.

So, for her, and anyone else who’s interested, here’s a link to my Goodreads profile.

Will I add it to my sidebar? Will I get it to feed to my blog? My lj? Stay tuned.

But don’t hold your breath.

We’ve just met Neelix. Who is more interesting than I remember.

Ah, the long, long intro. Remember when TV shows had long musical intros with credits? This clocked it at at about 1:45. I’d much rather than that commercials. Though if they’re cutting actual bits of the episode to make room for commercials, I’d rather they cut the intro.

The one thing I remember from Enterprise is the oil rubdown decontamination. Quite a difference between that and this sexy naked scene! Neelix in a bathtub, with only Tuvok to watch.

It strikes me as very risky to admit to this race of people who are desperate for water that you can make as much water as you want, but that it’s only available on your ship. (Integrated into the ship’s systems.) You don’t think they’ll try and take your ship? Are you that arrogant that you think they can’t? Also, no portable replicators? And the ship’s replicators can’t like.. replicate some portable replicators?

Also, go Neelix! I’m pro-fooling Starfleet. Though the fact that Kes is a kid is a little disturbing.

Why did Neelix get a combadge, but Kes didn’t?

Paris teasing Chakotay about his tribe’s beliefs. I actually like this. He’s doing it to distract him and himself from the life and death situation they’re in. But it also lets us know that this is important to Chakotay. More than, say, Sulu’s Japanese ancestry. That Earth hasn’t devolved into one mass culture.

The holographic doctor could’ve ended up being a very limited role. Stuck in the sickbay, everyone has to keep getting injured to have an excuse for him to make an appearance.

Did I miss it? I did backtrack and didn’t see it. Kim and Torres are healed offscreen from the weird illness they had? Without anyone even mentioning it? Did something get cut?

The Caretaker/Array says there’s another one of him, a chick. I don’t remember if she ever makes an appearance. But it’s a way home, isn’t it? Ah, right at the end, Janeway suggests her as one thing to be looking for.

All in all, a very good pilot. Miles above TNG’s, that’s for sure.

So, K commented that Voyager was cycling around to the beginning again and that she was going to watch it. I’ve got her old Tivo, so that sounded like a fine idea to me. And I could just watch and make comments to her. But, hey, maybe the whole world is interested too. Or at least some geeky segment of the world anyhow.

We’re watching on Spike, so I can’t tell if it’s been edited for time or edited on whim or not.

So, “Caretaker”.

This is a two-parter. Though I can’t remember if it aired as a two-parter or as a two-hour pilot. Ah, so long, long ago it was.

Speaking of long ago, it decided to start with a Star Wars start! Some text scrolling up about political stuff going on. Mercifully short. Then some ships shooting at each other. Pyew, pyew.

Then we see the Maquis. Torres, Chakotay, Tuvok. And I am reminded how many cool characters there actually were on this show. Considering the large place Janeway and Borgboobs had taken up in my brain, it had eclipsed nearly everyone else. And that is such a freaking shame.

Also, how diverse the cast was! The only white, male human isn’t in a position of power.

Moving on, why does Janeway have a dog? She’s a captain. One has to assume she likes having a ship. And flying around space in it. And probably she would be allowed to bring her dog along if she wanted. Data had a cat. She’s the Captain. It’s her ship. Now, whether a dog would be happy in a ship without a holodeck (at least, I don’t think it had a holodeck other than the sickbay and oh drat.. technically the doctor’s a white, male human, albeit a holographic one. But anyway, the dog. Why have a dog you’ll rarely get to see and which usually has to be kept in a kennel? It’d be one thing if she shared a dog with her SO, or with a sibling or something. But it’s her dog. All hers.

Then Janeway does the thing that made me really start to dislike her the first time I watched this (long, long ago). She says not to call her ‘sir’. Grr! Flaunt Starfleet protocol if you want, but why that one? I liked that one! Actor thinks she’s being all feminist by going against it. But I don’t have to agree. Or like it. And yea, you see what I did there? Called her an actor.

To be clear, I don’t hate her now. Or even really actively dislike her. I just don’t particularly like her.

Ha ha! First officer is in a red shirt! You’re going down!

Aww, the replicator’s computer voice makes me sad.

Bye, bye, first officer. It was nice knowing you. I did like your greying temples.

Janeway takes time to fix her bun while quick-stepping to engineering.

Everyone is beamed to The Array, and it makes me think we’re on (was it Heinlein’s or Bradbury’s?) Mars.

Random Maquis on this mission. He might be a goner.

I just realized they were saying ‘he’ like there was one controlling entity behind this whole Array thing _before_ they met The Caretaker.

Can you be an M-class planet with no bodies of water or rain?

To be continued….