Jellyn’s Collection of Curiosities

Summary: Instead of just beaming up some tellerium and being on their way, with slightly guilty consciences for stealing, we get roughly 45 minutes of non-stop (boring) action!

Voyager’s crew is shopping in a market! Imagine that! You mean you can _buy_ things you need?! Instead of beaming down to deserted planets that turn out not to be so deserted and adopting alien lizard babies and whatnot? You can just go shopping?! Man, you know what the first Ferengi in the Delta Quadrant would do? Set up a warp-through takeaway. Tellerium, dilithium crystals, technobabble, leola roots, whatever you need! Just speak directly into the talking clown head, please.

Well, either it’s a police state, or Voyager were fugitives from some other group trying to track them down and they brought violence to the innocent market.

I can understand why they can’t replicate antimatter. It’s a matter replicator, after all, right? But why can’t they replicate this tellerium they’re so desperate for?

Whenever anyone is held captive, you can bet Torres is one of them.

It may be because I’m playing a game in another window while watching. But this episode is not very interesting. Janeway skulks around, trying to break into the prison. Plays a comfort woman for a time to get past a guard or something. Torres is shocked that Vulcans feel pain. The people on the ship are um.. I don’t know. Staring down another ship or something.

Now Janeway’s helped Tuvok and Torres escape, but she needs to rescue the wife of the delusional man. Yea, hello, /delusional/. You think his wife is _actually_ in there? That’s taking a lot on faith. My money’s on her being long dead.

(Yea, I just used two different methods to emphasize the text — neither of which is the useful html tag of em or i — but there’s an actual difference in my emphasis! So there should be different methods of showing that!)

Okay, I should unpause now and find out if this wife is actually alive and in the prison to be rescued.

Dead for 12 years!

Gasp. Shock. Stupid Janeway.

And now the guy’s dead, because there was no other way that could end.

Well, that ep was just an excuse for Janeway to get emotional.

At least, I hope that was the aim. Otherwise it had no aim at all as far as I can see!

Summary: Seska uses a bunch of Kazon to have fun with Chakotay. Or something. I don’t know why she did all of this.

Federation signal, Starfleet security codes, Kazon ship firing at them and apparently knows their access codes. Is Seska about to make a re-appearance?

I like how Janeway was ordering Chakotay to do various things that he then did with his console. Modulating shield harmonics and locking on a tractor beam. Plus he was doing stuff like informing Tuvok there was someone in the transporter room. Rather than sitting on the bridge looking pretty and waiting for the Captain to be incapacitated.

Prime Directive says don’t interfere with technologically less advanced species. But I think if they manage to steal transporter technology from you, the Directive no longer applies. I don’t see that you have any obligation to try to get it back because it might disrupt the power balance in the Kazon sects. They’re the ones who stole it. They’re the ones responsible for screwing up their society, if they do screw it up. And clearly they’re not /so/ less advanced that they didn’t manage to steal it from you!

Chakotay’s taking out a shuttle. Probability of the shuttle coming back? 50%.

And now the cable signal went out. :P For 11 minutes. :P

Tracked it down on youtube. Stutter, start, jumpy, pause, wait, stutter.

Torres and Janeway talking in her ready room, and it occurs to me that they’re talking about a man. Chakotay. Bechdel Test fail!

They’re usually so good about geeking out together about some technology or scientific phenomenon or something too.

It occurs to me that Seska’s dressed like a pregnant actress trying to hide the fact that she’s pregnant. Which either means her actor is pregnant, or she’s pregnant and it’s a big old secret. Which is probably about to be revealed now that Chakotay’s about to face her erm.. face to face.

And I think we’re about up to the commercial break where my cable came back in. So it would be a good time for a ‘I’m pregnant!’ moment.

Now that youtube has had a chance to buffer. Let me see…

Ugh. That took more than a minute to get the youtube tab to close.

Anyway, it looks like she’s not pregnant. Wearing a belt and everything. Darn.

Chakotay, really, you might as well give her the Voyager command codes. Tuvok should’ve changed all the security stuff like that. Unless the command codes are so set in stone that they can’t be changed once you’ve left spacedock.

Heh. Saying you like the little mole on her stomach is taking a gamble. Since she’s restoring herself to her normal Cardassian looks, that mole may not be there anymore.

Good, Tuvok, good you added the shuttlecraft to your request for Chakotay. I was wondering if they were going to get that back or not.

Now they’ve been in the Delta Quadrant for 10 months. And whatshername is still pregnant, presumably.

Ha! /Now/ Seska is pregnant. I guess that pregnancy jacket was foreshadowing or something.

Summary: They find the other Array thingee! But then the episode is all about Kes.

I’ve been busy eating my ice cream and not commenting!

Um, if Neelix is unhappy with the haircut he’s getting, he should say so.

What do you say to the companion of the being who brought you to the Delta Quadrant when you meet it? (And probably of course it’s a chick!) Her. ‘Hi! We’ve got some of your husband’s erm.. dead body here. Will you bring us home now? Kthnxbai.’

And the guest star on this ep is the human detective from Alien Nation. Old Excrement Head himself.

I wasn’t used to recognizing guest starts on Star Trek series. It’s more likely for me to go the other way around. Watching some other show and going ‘hey! He was on Star Trek!’ I guess the first exception to this was on TNG, either Lurch or Max Headroom. But now we’ve got two Voyager eps in a row with people I knew from shows I loved.

Your ship is known as the Ship of Death! Your reputation precedes you.

You know, if Voyager would just get about their business of getting home as quickly as possible.. well, I suppose there’s still subspace communications, which are faster than high warp. But, still.

You’d think that a species who only lives to be 9, max, would not count their age by years. Wouldn’t you? When Kes had a birthday, she should’ve been celebrating 25 months, or 10 seasons, or something like that. I mean, that’d be like us saying we’re only going to have a birthday party every 10 years. Or to say we’re 20 years old right up until we turn 30.

We could’ve used this Ocampan’s ‘enhance life’ ability on our tomato plants.

It just hit me! I realize now why Tanis’s outfit looked familiar!

He’s dressed like a can of Red Bull!

Red Bull | Tanis

That was the best shot of him I could find.

Yea, blah blah blah, join my Suspiria cult and leave behind all the puny humans and Talaxians. Never mind that you hurt Tuvok and killed all the plants, which is sort of the exact opposite of the values you held dear at the start of the episode.

Suspiria’s adult voice sounds like it might be Majel Barrett.

Creepy little girl, blood dripping from above. This episode just turned into a horror movie.

Torres’s blood appears to be red and not pink. For future reference.

Instead of letting her go, Janeway, you could’ve tried bargaining with her. Or at least talking. But I understand, you only had about 5 minutes left in the episode. No time to talk.

Summary: Chakotay has flashbacks in the jungle.

Well, the title alone wasn’t enough for me to know it was about Chakotay. But it didn’t take long for me to realize it. And, oh yes, Chakotay’s dad is Zorro’s dad!

Seriously, the doctor can’t even give her a painkiller? His only answer is ‘live with it’ followed by ‘we’ll decrease the sensitivity of the nerve if we have to’. He’s seriously got no pain blockers that he can give a pregnant woman?

And then Kes says he’s never been sick or in pain in his life, and that’s not true. Since there was at least one episode where him feeling pain was a big issue. Was it the trippy one where he thought he was the real Doctor Zimmerman?

Make a note. If you ever might get lost in the Delta Quadrant, bring extra shuttlecraft. They’re always having trouble transporting to these places.

So Chakotay was accepted to Starfleet at 15? That seems young. I guess I assumed the human kids would be 17-18 at least.

And how the frell did that emergency beam-out work? Without generating a storm?

Um.. ancient tribe on Earth in Central America who have head bumps?

Now a storm blows up and Tuvok has no explanation? How about the transport you just did a few minutes ago? You know, the thing you thought was causing the storms before?

Another emergency beam-out right in the middle of the storm. So why couldn’t they beam them _into_ the storm?

Oh yea, Kes, look all innocent. I know it was you that reprogrammed the doctor’s flu.

That shuttle is gone. Let’s see if they get it back.

Somehow I don’t think it’s Starfleet protocol to get naked in a jungle to try to make contact.

Going to land Voyager, huh? Did they officially run out of shuttlecraft? Or can the Captain not land on a planet unless she lands the entire ship?

Now Voyager’s trapped in a cyclone. You’d think she would’ve learned a thing or two about landing on planets after losing so many shuttlecraft.

Well, Chakotay, if you hadn’t taken off your combadge, you wouldn’t be having troubles communicating with them!!

Randomly, they’ve found the shuttle now.

Okay, so I realized that, duh, if he had his combadge, they would’ve been able to talk to him and beam him out. So he must’ve lost it. So after the ep was over, I jumped back to see if it had gotten damaged. But it seems like he just lost it when the tree branch landed on him. But his tricorder is still working, because he scans for the shuttle. Can’t he scan for his combadge? Even if it wasn’t (for some reason) emitting a signal, it should be the only concentrated bit of gold in the near vicinity.

Am I overthinking things? :)

And it struck me that Chakotay’s all ‘we’ve changed, etc’ and then the away team that comes in to rescue him with phasers at the ready are all non-humans. (Well, Torres is half. And speaking of, you’d think she would’ve been needed on the ship to repair any damage the storm caused or to re-re-route the power.)

Anyhow, the end.

Summary: Janeway is seeing things, then everyone is seeing things. Now I want cucumber sandwiches.

Someone must’ve told her her hair looked like Torres’; it’s back in the bun.

Captain’s having trouble with time management, so the cure is to waste a bunch of it in the holodeck.

Lord Burleigh (Lord Burly?! Seriously?)

Those look like the sloppiest cucumber sandwiches ever. I can do better than that!!

Oh, now that I see them again in the mess hall, I see that they were lying on a bed of cucumbers and not that the cucumbers were sticking out of them like that.

Janeway’s seeing things. Think it has anything to do with these Botha, or whatever they were called?

I think it should be standard in holodeck programs that the characters ignore whatever the person’s wearing. Of course dressing up is fun, but it shouldn’t always be necessary.

A psionic field has a psychoactive effect? Really?! Does an electromagnetic field have an electric and magnetic effect too?

Go Torres. If you’re going to hallucinate, at least make it a sex hallucination. Not like lame little Paris with his seeing his father on the viewscreen.

I thought Kes was ordered to the bridge. I must’ve missed something, because she was just hanging out in sickbay and now she’s gone to engineering.

She’s awful trusting that the doctor’s instructions aren’t things she’s also hallucinating.

Torres says she experienced something she’d rather not admit. Which, like, yea. But then Janeway’s like ‘yea, me too’, but.. all she did was picture her boyfriend being all jealous of the holodeck dude. Not that exciting, Captain. Or that secret.

Summary: Neelix and Paris fight over Kes and get banished to an away mission where they bond over a hatchling.

Oh, ugh, we start right off with Neelix and his stupid jealousy.

Does Neelix or does he not know the local area of space? Did they chart the quickest way home, or did they chart a way home based on information gleaned throughout their many stops and like, maybe pick the course with lots of M-class planets to replenish their supplies on?

I mean, seriously, shouldn’t they _know_ if this is the last M-class planet they’ll hit for awhile? Surely their sensors could at least tell them where likely start systems are and they could aim for those next.

All just an excuse to go visit this mysteriously shrouded planet.

A clarinet is one week’s replicator rations. A locket is more than one week. I can’t figure tha tout. Surely the clarinet takes up more material, and is more complicated.

Paris: A whole crew full of women of I have to fall for the one I can’t have.

Yea, because Kes is the only one you can’t have.

Janeway and Torres now have nearly the same hairdo.

Ha ha. How delightful!

Now the Ocampans are mating for life. While still only having one kid ever. Math, people, math!

I don’t know how being in a cave will protect them from the atmosphere. Seeing as how there’s, like, atmosphere in there.

What a coincidence they’re there when an egg hatches. Like, right at the second it hatches.

Yea, what? Neelix picks the baby up and puts it in his jacket or whatever. The kid falls asleep. So Paris declares him godmother instead of godfather? Wha?

They had a short window and they made no mention of recovering the shuttlecraft. So I’m considering that one also lost.

3 shuttlecraft down. How many could they possibly have left?