Archive for Stupid Commercials

Way to Kill the Planet, FedEx Kinkos

April 23, 2008 @ 11:57 pm · Filed under Stupid Commercials

There’s this FedEx Kinko’s commercial you may have seen. It involves two business guys on a plane (iirc, they’re both male and white, btw) and one says he has the presentation ‘right here’ and pats his laptop case. Then the flight attendant (white and female, I believe) proceeds to cram it into the overhead compartment.

But that’s okay! Because the sarariman sent the presentation to FedEx Kinko’s. And FedEx Kinko’s printed out 20 bound copies, and then shipped them to Portland.

What the frell? Portland has no Kinko’s? Has this unholy union of FedEx and Kinko’s made it mandatory to use the FedEx end of things? If you print it, you must ship it somewhere!

Next time you’re in there running off copies of your resumé be sure to tell them you’re not interested in getting job offers from Beijing.

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Umm..

June 16, 2007 @ 1:54 am · Filed under Stupid Commercials, TV

So I’m sitting here watching Team America: World Police. Well, sort of watching. And a commercial comes on.

It’s for this lovely hair removal cream. Because everyone watching Comedy Central at 2:30 in the morning is worried about hair removal.

The name of the cream? Nads.

Seriously. Nads.

Suddenly the fact that it’s on Comedy Central makes sense.

Message to me: Someone should’ve looked at dictionary.com before naming their product.

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Where’s the Beef?

June 13, 2007 @ 8:35 pm · Filed under Food, Stupid Commercials, TV

Here’s another commercial for you.

Trainee guy at Wendy’s is told to go get some more burgers. He heads for the freezer to get them. Inside, he finds three people performing Hamlet. At least, I think that’s what they’re doing. They tell him that the burgers aren’t in the freezer, dummy, because Wendy’s doesn’t freeze its burgers.

Um… what?

Message to me: Walk-in freezers are perfect locations for out of work actors?

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Introducing a New Category

June 10, 2007 @ 7:04 pm · Filed under Food, Stupid Commercials, TV

I’m creating a new category. ‘Stupid Commercials’. I’ve seen too many lately.

We’ll start with a Burger King commercial, because they’re the King of teh Stupid.

People eat this new Western Whopper and sprout facial hair. Chicks, guys, old ladies, dogs, doesn’t matter.

The commercial’s message to me: Our burgers are not only full of bovine growth hormone, but obscene levels of testosterone too.

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